Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Cat Hair in the Eye Doom


What in thee hell are cat hairs made of?  Itching powder in strand form?

Have you ever gotten one of these fuckers in your eye?  If you own cats, I'm sure you have.

There's that first moment of "shoot, I've got something in my eye".  Then you start trying to get it out. You poke and poke and rub your eyeball trying to get that barely visible evil little fucker to stick to your finger so you can pull it out.  It doesn't.

And your eye is now red, watering and even more itchy.

You rub your eye some more still hopeful that you can get this piece of freakin' cat shrapnel out of your eye.

But to no avail.  It's firmly stuck in there and eventually disappears behind your eye or something because the itch is still there but you can't see it anymore.  I'm sure by now I've got enough cat hair behind my eye that my brain could cough up a hairball.

Now what's going to happen?  You can't stop rubbing your itchy eye so you accidentally tear that clear membrane on your eyeball?  All because of a freakin' cat hair.

You start calling your cats assholes (oh who am I kidding, I already do that) but at the same time you pet them and get even more cat hair on your hand which may or may not end up on your face.

And the cycle starts again.

Why do I love my cats?  Why?

I typed this with a cat hair in my left eye, by the way.

No comments:

Post a Comment