Ever had a chair break underneath you?
I have. And I wasn't even half as heavy as I am now.
I am now scarred for life you asshole of a dining room chair, thank you very much.
I now think I'm going to break every single chair that I sit in. Not only will I have to suffer through the humiliation of it but what if part of the chair goes right through my leg or stabs me in the ass? What the chair doesn't just shame and maim? What if somehow I bleed out and die from sitting on and breaking a chair?
Chairs can be assholes. And dangerous.
You just never know.