Yesterday I was out an about. I'm Canadian so hear that in your head as oot and aboot if you must, I won't blame you.
Anyhow, I was really thirsty. The kind of thirsty that makes you throat close up and your mouth all pasty and gross. At one of my stops, I pulled some gum out of my purse and, lo, my mouth wasn't so dry anymore. Yay! Everything is a-ok again.
I then start to drive home. A 35ish minute drive. I'm happily chewing away on my gum and popping it since I'm alone (I would never do that with anyone around because I know how irritating it is). The drive is going smooth and the mixed bag weather was holding out to just being grey and windy.
All of the sudden I start thinking...
What if I choke on the gum while driving?
And I can't get the thought out of my head.
I would choke on my gum, and get into a car accident while suffocating on a stupid piece of gum. All of the sudden my gum is not my dry mouth saviour but the anti-christ. At best I'm going to go off the road and end up in a ditch. At worst I'm going to somehow take out a family and forever be known as the murderer of people by gum.
There will be a law enacted called "Amanda's Law" wherein you cannot chew gum while driving and because it's a law, people will purposely ignore it just like they do with the texting/phoning and driving laws. I'll have started a line of carnage throughout history of people claiming they can "gum and drive".
So what do I do? I reach for a tissue to get the gum out of my mouth and while reaching I almost drive off the road. Ok, it wasn't that close, but it could have been! There was definitely a minor swerve.
Let this be a lesson to you all. Do not "gum and drive"!
Don't be a statistic!