Once upon a time I had a friend stay overnight. We were just beginning university and still very young. I tossed and turned on the extremely old and uncomfortable sofa bed when all of the sudden my friend passed wind in her sleep.
Passed wind is too mild a term, really. She actually let one rip so loud that I'm surprised the pictures didn't fall off the wall. I, of course, thought it was hilarious.
But it also got me thinking.
If she could pass gas like that in her sleep, then what if I did?
Ever since then, I've been nervous about sleeping in front of people.
It doesn't help that this one time I apparently did that very thing and my late husband thought it was so funny that his stifled laughter shook the bed. I went to work that day asking everyone if they felt the earthquake that night. TRUE STORY.
And now, for lack of a better term, I've got fart doom.
Yup. I'm afraid of farting in my sleep in front of other people.
Is there nothing I won't worry about???